HAPPY BIRTHDAY AARON DAWSON

2013, The Year of Sleaze :: The Show So Far

After the huge rush of quality films last year, this has been a comparatively sloggish one to put it mildly. Of the following, here is a quick recap of every (U.S. release official) 2013 film I've seen so far as of 18th August.

Side Effects
The Informant!'s serious, sexy alternate. The cinemas will miss you Soderbergh.

To the Wonder
Mleh...

Stoker
I've never seen any of them Giallo films but from what I've read, this was a damn fine cup of blood.

Oz the Great & Powerful
Yeah I think it's brilliant, ya got a problem wid dat? (does futterwacken)

Spring Breakers
This movie is so good it makes you like Skrillix and Britney Spears music.

Trance
I'm a sucker for this kind of music score and soundtrack set on top of these kinds of stories, which Danny Boyle has always been great at.

Oblivion
We may have reached the point where it's getting harder to create a genuinely original sci-fi film without guessing what tropes will fall into play, but at least you can have the chance to do it well which I feel this did.

Pain & Gain
Never in my life would I consider calling a Michael Bay film not just one of the year's best but one of my all time favourites.

The Great Gatsby
Good. Certainly more tolerable than Australia, I can surely say.

Only God Forgives
To those who hate it, I can't argue with your points.

After Earth
Well... I spose after you make The Last Airbender, all you can go is up...

World War Z
I'm very nonchalant with this one. Yep, it exists. Moving on...

Pacific Rim
A giant robot hits a sea monster with a battleship. All arguments past, present and future are invalid.

V/H/S/2
Wrap-around was uninteresting, Clinical Trials had a potential story but not much payoff, Ride in the Park was hilarious and surprisingly moving, Safe Haven was FUCKMETHATWASSCARYDIDYOUGUYSSEETHAT!!!! and Slumber Party Alien Abduction was nihilistic as fuck.

The Conjuring
Now who says you can't make effectively chilling horror movies anymore?

The World's End
Woopsie daisy!

Passion
Classic De Palma, welcome back and all that.

Prince Avalanche
This is not a retreat, it's a step forward.

PRINCE AVALANCHE :: A REVIEW

PAIN & GAIN :: A REVIEW

Michael Bay has been working to make Pain & Gain his entire life and it's taken a lot of shit to get through, dragging us along with him.

When I first heard about the premise, then saw the trailer I got unusually expectations for the film. Now after seeing it, it has met all of them and then some. I was grinning and laughing so much except for when Bay does his usual schtick of mood whiplash where it's generally horrifying/disturbing.

Daniel Lugo is one of the new scariest cinema villains, Dwayne Johnson's performance is great; his character tragically fascinating. The music.... christ, the music... I need to buy that shit.

I guarantee that all of Bay's future work won't even match the brilliance this film has shown. This genre is what he's meant for.

Pain & Gain is one of the best films of the year, and one of my all time favourites.

PASSION :: A REVIEW

ONLY GOD FORGIVES :: A REVIEW

You will hate this movie

because it moves at such a slow pace.

You will hate this movie

because violence comes out of nowhere and hardly add anything.

You will hate this movie

because hardly anyone speaks, and when they do it's rarely meaningful.

You will hate this movie

because it's not the followup to Drive you wanted.

You will hate this movie

because scenes are cut in such a way that doesn't match up.

You will hate this movie

because you'll be screaming at the characters to just fucking emote!

You will hate this movie

because the few times they do emote are so laughably contrived, out of place and silly.

You will hate this movie

because the 90 minute run time will feel like 90 hours.

You will hate this movie

because the ending doesn't make sense.

You will hate this movie

because it is one of the year's best films.

DEAR ZACHARY :: A REVIEW

PLUSSSSSHHHHH

FUCK THAT NOISE!

A lot of my friends on Facebook (especially Jacob) have often chided me for liking every single film.

Now I have better things to do than to constantly rag on a film's merit of low worth like people who make videos on blip that compares a work of fiction to military dictators, yet I cannot deny that some films tend to rub me the wrong way.

Don't let the above asinine title fool you, this is not a hate list. I don't hate any movie. These films are based on more of a disappointment level and how I can't say that I actually 'LIKE' them.

So, as usual, in no particular order:

The Golden Compass

No surprise to those who know me. This is more of a special mention since I still have not seen the whole film and marks the first time I've ever walked out of a movie feeling pissed.

My Super Ex-Girlfriend

All's well that ends well? No...

Premonition

Well that ending came out of nowhere...

Astro Boy

So did this...

King Ralph

Hey guys! Let's start our comedy with the pointless killing of multiple people!

Date Movie

Must I explain?

Paranormal Activity 4

Liked 1, 2 was ok, LOVED 3. This was balls.

Killing Them Softly

People tend to consider Prometheus and The Dark Knight Rises as the biggest disappointments of 2012. I never understood that. I was more disappointed with this.

Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole

To paraphrase an video game critic, if you find us Australians offensive, you'll find this movie offensively Australian.

Bad Boys

I always lose it when it gets to the scene where Martin must... BECOME WILL!

WORLD WAR Z :: A REVIEW